Love is Stronger Than Pride!

A Holiday of Peace Reflection and Sobriety!

ME and ME and it has been great; to really just have time to meditate, reflect and allow very few distractions over the past few days or so. I caught up on some great films that I would like to share with you...... Quick Note You May Need to Reload Page depending on your internet speed to view full movies and or you can Google and find them on Hulu.com web site!

CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT FULL MOVIE THE WORLD UNSEEN IT'S IN THE WATER IT DON'T MEAN A THING....... New Link as of March 2013 Please send email if video not available! Reload for Hulu.com or email if cannot find video on site. Thanks!

A Drinking Life " A Memoir"-Pete Hamill

Years ago when I was living in San Francisco, this book came across me through a mutual friend who was also a "heavy drinker". She was not reading the book, in fact someone else at the bar had shared the book with her. We were at our favorite craft beer spot in the lower Haight (the lower Haight is the lower part of the area that eventually leads to Haight-Ashbury for those of you who are not familiar with San Francisco. It was a ritual every saturday to spend time at the Beer Pub for hours and hours drinking beer with a very high alcohol content (the beer was really great "micro-brewed") and back with shots of Jagermeister. You see we were really kool we thought, many had come to San Francsisco to start companies and or work in the dot com industry. Groups would form and we would talk and talk, throw ideas around, talk about the tech companies where we worked, etc. It was not too long after that; a year or so that AA came into my life and and the fact that drinking in one's life, my life. was a problem. It was at that time that my initial awareness into booze problems and co-factors began and it would take many years of more drinking and learning to begin to understand the power of addiction and how it effects a person's life. I look forward to reading this book, which I will pick up in a few days. Also, in my research I was able to come across a great interview on C-Span as well as an earlier write up in the New York Times in 1994. AT HOME WITH: Pete Hamill; On Background By ALEX WITCHEL Published: February 24, 1994 IN the movies, at least, there was always a world-weary editor in the newsroom with smarts to spare for a neophyte reporter. He would say something magical and the kid would come back a star. Pete Hamill, the former New York Post columnist and the newspaper's editor during last year's frenzied Abe Hirshfeld reign, found such a mentor when he showed up for the night shift there in 1960. Paul Sann, who Mr. Hamill recalls smoked Camels and looked like Bogart (who else?), gave him a motto a journalist could live by: "If you've got the story, tell it. If you don't have the story, write it." Mr. Hamill has a story to tell in his new book, "A Drinking Life" (Little, Brown), his own story, and he tells it so well ("in the hard, spare prose of a journalist," a reviewer wrote) that the book hit the New York Times best-seller list last weekend at No. 9. It is the story of Mr. Hamill's growing up in Brooklyn as the oldest of seven children of Irish immigrant parents and how drinking helped define his sense of identity as he established himself outside "the neighborhood." It is also the story of how drinking came to destroy his memory, erode his talent and ruin his home life until he finally gave it up in 1973.

"Confession alone is not necessarily good for the soul," he says, in his Greenwich Village apartment. "People become writers in the first place by those things that hurt you into art, as Yeats said it. Then they become separated from what started out affecting them. Journalism forces you to look at the world so you don't get cut off." At 58, Mr. Hamill seems to have mellowed. His maverick, testosterone-fueled columns at The Post, The Village Voice and The New York Daily News evoked a New York where neckties were for loosening and subways smelled of sweat. He covered Vietnam, Lebanon, Northern Ireland and Nicaragua, wrote fiction and idolized Hemingway (who else?). A glass of whisky in his hand completed the picture. The Lion's Head, the writer's bar in the Village, was his home base. But for the last seven years, he has been married to the Japanese journalist Fukiko Aoki and has two real homes -- this one, near the meat-packing district, and another upstate in Ulster County. Here in the Village, he is surrounded by his paintings and drawings (as a teen-ager he wanted to be a cartoonist and before becoming a journalist earned his living as a graphic designer) and books, books, books, floor to ceiling, wall to wall. Ms. Aoki writes a column about American culture for Bunshun, a Japanese weekly magazine. The marriage is successful, Mr. Hamill says, because she works even harder than he does. The two met in Tokyo when she interviewed him. During the interview there was an earthquake. "The earth moved, what can I tell you?" he says. On this sunny morning, with their black labrador, Gabo, lured to the kitchen by the promise of a sesame bagel, Mr. Hamill settles on the couch. Change slides from his pocket onto the cushions, unnoticed. He eats pastry and smokes cigarettes and his face is creased in all kinds of directions. This is a man from a bygone era, before bodies required preservation like works of art. But he's far from unattractive. He says he has had romances with Shirley Maclaine and Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, but turns a little pale at the prospect of a rehash. "I'm a happily married man," he says, reaching for a cigarette. "Only a cad would talk about his life that way." He's more comfortable talking about men. "I started to write this book when people I knew from the Lion's Head, people I had grown up with in the business, started to die at ages like 46," he says. "Everyone knew I had stopped drinking and always wanted to know how I did it. I had written a piece about it for New York magazine years ago, but it was like a memo. And I thought, I really should try to figure this out. "The tone was the hardest to establish. I didn't want to be preachy or judgmental about people who aren't as tough or as smart. To be clear about what actually happened and be patient enough to allow it to develop and not get it all in the lead like a newspaper story." He draws on a Vantage. "Cigarettes are much harder to kick than whisky," he says. "You can smoke and work, but you can't drink and work. "In the literature of drinking, like 'Under the Volcano,' 'The Iceman Cometh' and all over Fitzgerald, there are only drastic or extreme cases. One of the things I was determined to do was not make it worse than it was. I never ended up with the D.T.'s, shaking and seeing little men. I just wanted to write about a condition that had its own form of damage. One of the things I learned is that the functioning drinker causes more damage than the alkie in the doorway. "I don't remember as much about the 1960's as I do when I was 12. No matter what trick I use, I can't reconstruct a great night, what the jokes were, why we laughed. When I was writing, I used triggers, tapes of hit songs of the 40's and 50's, and as I would listen to them, whole months would come back. Rooms, linoleum, textures, pictures. It would all flow out of Bing Crosby singing 'Don't Fence Me In.' When I hear the Doors or Aretha, I think of Vietnam, because that's what was playing in all those bars in Saigon. When I hear parts of 'Hair' I remember the moratoriums. But I remember the things I covered, rather than the life I lived." Mr. Hamill's father, Billy, a clerk, began taking his eldest son to the bars when he was 8. A stellar soccer player, the elder Mr. Hamill lost his leg to gangrene after it was broken in a game and he had to wait a full day in a hospital before receiving treatment. He drank. His son drank. When he quit drinking he did it alone; he never went to Alcoholics Anonymous. "It was hard to go to A.A.," he says. "Especially the Brooklyn part of me. I just had to deal with it myself. If you're the oldest in a large family, you tend to do everything yourself, particularly if you are the first American. You begin a habit or pattern that makes it easy to reject other help. Also, in A.A. there was a religious element I couldn't accept. It was irrelevant to what I needed to be sober. Now I think there's an A.A. for atheists. A.A.A. or something." He smiles. "They even fix flats." He still goes to the Lion's Head, he says, but he doesn't stand at the bar. "It's hard for me. And I don't want the other guys to feel judged. I don't get aggravated with drunks as much as bored. Their conversation is like bad writing. Everything is in italics." One of the details Mr. Hamill remembered only when he began to write his book was how as a child he was influenced by the magic potions his comic book heroes would drink to become invincible. It sent a powerful message. So did what Mr. Hamill calls "the Irish thing," meaning the accepted wisdom that anyone who was too smart, who succeeded too much, became guilty of the sin of pride, having the nerve to be better than everyone else. It is not coincidence that after Mr. Hamill was admitted to an exclusive parochial school in Manhattan, he dropped out. Or that after earning a high school equivalency degree in the Navy, he enrolled in college but never graduated. Compounding "the Irish thing" was his father's torment over his leg and everything that might have been. "Clearly, my mother is the hero of the book," he says. "My father did shape me. He didn't drive because he had one leg, and for years I never drove. I had no mobility. The self-inflicted wound has an echo from things you don't even consciously understand. (Side Note Peter O'Toole is Great in this short performance-Lu'na) "But it was not him alone. My mother was also there. Last December, I was given an award by the National Cartoonist Society as an amateur cartoonist, and they found three letters I had written to Milton Caniff in 1946 and 1947 I didn't know existed. The kid who wrote them was so straight: 'I want to be a cartoonist, can you give me some tips.' None of my father's Brooklyn class stuff, being poor. The green ceiling, as the Irish call it, seemed to some part of me irrelevant. "My mother had made me think I could talk to Milton Caniff or the President of the United States as easily as a haberdasher. That's what it meant to be American, what pulled people from other countries. To have a sense of the possible." Mr. Hamill's mother, Anne, is 83 and suffers from Parkinson's disease. She lives in a nursing home in Brooklyn. His father died in 1986. His brother Tom is an engineer for the New York State Power Authority; his only sister, Kathleen, was until recently an editor for Navy publications. Brian is a still photographer for movies; John is a speechwriter at the New York Housing Authority; Denis is a columnist at The Daily News, and Joe is a television producer. From his first marriage, to Ramona Negron, Mr. Hamill has two grown daughters, Adriene Wellesley, a writer in Las Vegas, Nev., and Deirdre Hamill, a photographer for The Phoenix Gazette. Mrs. Wellesley was indicted on Friday on five counts of child abuse with substantial bodily harm and one count of murder in the death of her infant son in 1991. Her husband, Charles Wellesley, was also indicted in the death. Mr. Hamill says lawyers have advised him not to comment on the case. Though his children prefer living out West, Mr. Hamill will not leave New York. He has lived and worked in Mexico, as a student and as a journalist, enough in his lifetime to call it his second country, but his home is here. "More than anything, New York interests me," he says. "The New York I evoke in the 40's and 50's was a great big optimistic city. I felt I could grow up to be a cartoonist, play left field for the Dodgers, even in spite of the Irish thing. The older group was used to disappointment, but the kids had beaten Hitler. We could do anything. I don't feel that out on Pitkin Avenue now." He gestures toward the window. "The reason I like this neighborhood is that I see people physically working. Seeing a guy with his cleaver reminds me so much of that New York I miss. People stand differently when they have work. I go to Coney Island every summer. Nathan's is more or less the same, though the rides are all different. But the light is the same. Nobody can ruin that." Rather than return to writing columns, Mr. Hamill wants to concentrate on books. His next is a novel, and a collection of his columns and articles is also to be published. But in here, those books will have to fight for space. There is barely room for his easel and desk. ( Britain's rinking Problem) Ready Steady Drink....UK Amy Winehouse http://youtu.be/Cvyd9LTQWhE He shows off his collection of books from the old Bomba the Jungle Boy series, bracketed by Yeats and Joyce. There are sections on journalism, crime, Japan, Russia, New York, Georges Simenon, Mexico, Italy and Renaissance history. "If I could move Florence to the Mexican Riviera and get Joe's Stone Crab from Miami in the same town, I'd be happy," he says. The wall over his desk is filled with faces. Masks from Mexico, mug shots of gangsters. The infamous kiss photo, when Mr. Hirshfeld planted a big smacker on Mr. Hamill, who looked as horrified as everyone else felt, hangs in his bathroom. "I call it the Kiss of the Spider Man," he says. "When I got home that day, poor Fukiko said, 'Does this mean that what he has, you have?' " He also shows a few pictures of his mother. "She had a tremendous memory," he says. "It's sad for me now to see her. She always believed in America. She worked as a cashier at the RKO chain and wouldn't let my brothers into the theater before each one got a library card and read. Grand Army Plaza Library was so far away from where we lived, but it had so much more than the branch. The sign on the wall said, 'Here are enshrined the longings of great hearts.' And I looked at that sign and said, 'Let me be a great heart, please, whatever it is.' " He throws his arms up in a praying motion. "Sometimes," he says, "words even on the sides of buildings have meanings that people underestimate." YOU CAN ALSO CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE C-SPAN INTERVIEW.

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Part II p 304 Wally was not in the courtroom. David sat alone at counsel table as the Rogan Rothberg team filed in and the spectators took their seats. At 8:50, David eased over to a bailiff and said he needed to see Judge Seawright, and it was urgent. "Follow me," the bailiff said. Judge Seawright had just put on his black robe when David entered his chambers. Skipping the greetings, David said "Judge, we have a problem. Mr. Figg is AWOL. He's not here and I don't think he'll show up." The judge exhaled in frustration and continued to slowly zip up his robe. "You don't where he is?' "No Sir" Judge Seawright looked at the baliff and said, "Go fetch Ms. Karros." When Nadine arrived, alone, she and David sat with the Judge at the end of his long conference table. David told him all that he knew and pulled no punches about Wally's history with alcohol. They were sympathetic and uncertain about what this meant for the trial . David confessed that he felt thoroughly unprepared and inadequate to handle whatever was to be done, but at the same time he could not imagine the firm attempting to try the case again. (questions regarding a continuance of the case). Judge Seawright said, "I'm not sure a contunuance will work. If Mr. Figg is back on the booze and drinking so much he fails to show up for court, it might take some time to get him detoxed again and ready for action. I am not inclined to consider a continuance." David could not argue with this logic. "Judge, I have no idea what to do out there. I've never tried a case before." p 319 (Almost a week after Wally missing in action and AWOL on a binder) Halfway through a cheeseburger, David's cell phone vibrated in his coat pocket. He looked at it, jumped to his feet, whispered "It's Wally" to Helen (his wife), and stepped outside the front door. "Where are you Wally?" In a weak and dying voice, the reply came, "I'm drunk, David. So drunk" That's what I figured. Where are you?" You gotta help me, David. There's no one else. Oscar won't talk to me." Sure Wally, you know I'll help, but where are you. "At the office" I'll be there in forty-five minutes. He was on the sofa snoring next to the table, AC nearby watching him with great suspicion. It was Wednesday night, and David assumed, correctly that Wally's last shower had been bright and early Monday morning, the day the retrial commenced, six days after Oscar's dramatic collapse, and six days after Wally's legendary mistrial. No shower, no shave, no change of clothes-he was wearing the same navy suit and white shirt as when David has last seen him. The tie was missing. The shirt was heavily stained. There was a slight tear in the right leg of his trousers. Dried mud caked the soles of his new black wing tips. David tapped his his shoulders and called his name. Nothing. His face red and puffy, but there were no bruises, cuts or scrapes. Perhaps he had not been brawling in bars. David had wanted to know where he had been, but then he did'nt. Wally was safe. There would be time for questions later, one being "How did you get here?" His car was no where in sight, which was somewhat of a relief. Maybe, drunk as he was, Wally had the presence of mind not to drive. On the other hand, his car could have been wrecked, stolen or repossed. David punched him in his biceps and yelled from six inches away. Wally's heavy breathing paused for a second, then continued. AC was whining, so David let him out for a pee and made a pot of coffee. He sent a text to Helen: "Drunk as a skunk but alive. Not sure what's next." He called Rochelle and passed along the news. A call to Oscar's cell went straight to voicemail. Wally rallied an hour later and took a cup of coffee. "Thanks, David, " he said over and over. Then, "Have you called Lisa?' "And who might Lisa Be?" "My wife. You need to call her, David. That sonofabitch Oscar won't talk to me." David decided to play along, to see where the chatter might go. "I did call Lisa." "You did what did she say?" "Said you guys got a divorce years ago." "That sounds just like her." He was staring at his feet, glassy-eyed, unable or unwilling to make eye contact. "She says she still loves you though, " David said, just for the fun of it. Wally started crying, the way drunks do when they cry over nothing and everything. David felt a little lousy but a lot more amused. I'm sorry, Wally said, wiping his face with a forearm. "I'm so sorry David, thank you. Oscar won't talk to me you know. Laid up in my apartment, hding from his wife, cleaning out my refigerator. I came home, had the door locked and chained. We had a big fight, neighbors called the police, I barely got away. Running away from my own apartment now, what kinda deal is that?" "When did this happen?" I don't know. An hour ago, maybe. NOt real sharp on times and days right now for some reason. Thank you David." You're welcome. Look Wally, we need to put together a plan. Sounds like your apartment if off-limits. If you want to sleep her tonight and sober up, I'll pull up a chair and keep you company. AC and I will get your through this." "I need help David. Ain't just a matter of sobering up."

Brandon and Connor Moore

Heartbreak as two little boys swept away during Hurricane Sandy are buried There were heartbreaking scenes of grief as two Irish American kids, whose father is from Donegal, were buried yesterday in Brooklyn, victims of Hurricane Sandy. Brandon and Connor Moore, aged 4 and 2, were laid to rest in a single coffin after a funeral service at Saint Lima of Rose Church as parents Damien and Glenda Moore wept uncontrollably. They were swept out of their mother’s arms at the height of the hurricane as she desperately pleaded for help and was turned away from a neighbors house in Staten Island after her car stalled in the storm. She had left her house to drive to her mother’s home during the storm as the water rose. Her husband, a sanitation worker, had been called in to work for the duration of the emergency. The bodies of the two little boys were found in a nearby marsh after the storm. Former Bishop of Brooklyn, Fr Guy Sansaricq told the congregation, which included 200 co-workers of Damien Moore, "Death is a part of a human life," he said. "When a child dies we know he goes straight to Heaven. Our children don't belong to us, we are just stewards. They belong to God, we don't understand God's plan."

Chaplain of the New York Department of Sanitation, Father Cola Pietro, stated "There are no words. The only thing we can do is offer our support as a family." Irish Consul General Noel Kilkenny who was there told the Irish Independent: "Obviously there have been a lot of victims of this storm. I've been to Staten Island, the Rockaways, Breezy Point; there have been seniors who have died in their homes and many other tragedies. "But somehow this one has, I think, captured people and not just in Ireland . . . I don't want to lessen the sadness and grief of the other families but this is something truly tragic."

He stated : "Just like this community has rallied around Damien and Glenda, the community back home in Donegal have rallied around his parents. These were two Irish children and American too, but these were the two most visible signs and the most heart-wrenching signs of the tragedy." Back in Ireland at a memorial service in St Conal's Church, Portnoo, the parish priest Fr Philip Daly comforted the grandparents, Fay and Paddy Moore. "We are here to stand side by side with them in the shadow of this immense cross for them. I know from speaking to Damien and Glenda for a few minutes during the week, they did ask us to pray for the two youngsters and for themselves as well. "We are with them in spirit very much this morning and hopefully our prayers will help and support them," he stated. ___________________________________ On Friday, Glenda and Damien Moore of Staten Island said their last tearful goodbye to their two young boys, Connor, 4, and Brandon, 2, as they were laid to rest. The children, Hurricane Sandy’s smallest victims, were horrifically torn from their mother’s grasp and swept away by swirling waters at the height of the storm. The New York Post reports that the brothers were memorialized before a crowd of nearly 1,000 mourners at Saint Rose of Lima Church in Brooklyn before they were lowered into the earth in a single silver coffin. Throughout the service, their mother, surely traumatized by her last earthly contact with them, sobbed uncontrollably.

The tragedy that claimed them occurred on Oct. 29. The SUV Glenda Moore was driving stalled in South Beach. She grabbed her children and fled the disabled vehicle to seek help, but the storm’s storm surge wrested the children from her bosom. On hand among the mourners were some 300 of Damien Moore’s fellow sanitation workers. The department chaplain, Peter Colapietro, delivered the eulogy, telling the Moores, “The only thing that we can offer is our support as a family. We pray for your strength in these days—we know that you will need it.” On Friday, police also discovered the body of the latest fatality of the superstorm. A separate Post article notes that a 64-year-old man who was found dead in the living room of his flooded home in the storm-ravaged Midland Beach section of Staten Island. A concerned neighbor of the victim, whose name has not been released, flagged down the police. The home was situated yards from the ocean. The results of an autopsy performed today have not yet been finalized.

Hurricane Sandy/ Sandy Hook: Only God Knows

For the victims of Sandy Hook and to all those children around the world who suffer needlessly to violence, war, abuse and other unspeakable crimes. We are all in God's hands. 1.Nancy Lanza 2.Charlotte Bacon, 2/22/06, female 3.Daniel Barden, 9/25/05, male 4. Rachel Davino, 7/17/83, female. 5.Olivia Engel, 7/18/06, female 6. Josephine Gay, 12/11/05, female 7. Ana M. Marquez-Greene, 04/04/06, female 8. Dylan Hockley, 3/8/06, male 9. Dawn Hochsprung, 06/28/65, female 10. Madeleine F. Hsu, 7/10/06, female 11.Catherine V. Hubbard, 6/08/06, female 12. Chase Kowalski, 10/31/05, male 13. Jesse Lewis, 6/30/06, male 14. James Mattioli , 3/22/06, male 15. Grace McDonnell, 12/04/05, female 16. Anne Marie Murphy, 07/25/60, female 17. Emilie Parker, 5/12/06, female 18. Jack Pinto, 5/06/06, male 19. Noah Pozner, 11/20/06, male 20. Caroline Previdi, 9/07/06, female 21.Jessica Rekos, 5/10/06, female 22.Avielle Richman, 10/17/06, female 23. Lauren Rousseau, 6/1982, female (full date of birth not specified) 24.Mary Sherlach, 2/11/56, female 25.Victoria Soto, 11/04/85, female 26.Benjamin Wheeler, 9/12/06, male 27.Allison N. Wyatt, 7/03/06, female

Daniel Barden Daniel’s family says he was “fearless in the pursuit of happiness in life.” The 7-year-old was the youngest of three children and in a statement to the media, his family said Daniel earned his missing two front teeth and ripped jeans. “Words really cannot express what a special boy Daniel was. Such a light. Always smiling, unfailingly polite, incredibly affectionate, fair and so thoughtful towards others, imaginative in play, both intelligent and articulate in conversation: in all, a constant source of laughter and joy,” the family said. His father, Mark is a local musician. On the biography on his professional website, Mark Barden lists spending time with his family as his favorite thing to do. Daniel Barden Funeral: Sandy Hook Victim Who Dreamed Of Being Firefighter Is Honored By His Heroes.

Emile Alice Parker Grace McDonnell Jessica Rekos Laurel Rousseau Noah Pozner Mary Sherlach

Sinead O'Connor Pink Floyd Another Brick in the Wall

Personal Opinions: The Differences Between Physical "Sobriety" and Mental "Sobriety" and a Shift in Consciousness around Life Changes, Shifts, Modes and Getting to the Core of One's Soul and Purpose. -Lu'na Just this week I finished reading John Grisham's "The Litigator's. After a long period of sobriety, one of the partners of the small firm, went on a binder apparently from all of the stress that he was experiencing due to a very stressful trial that he brought to federal court, that he was losing. He had never presented a case in federal court and to his dismay, his initial thoughts of a slam dunk settlement and millions in legal fees was falling to pieces. Part I Here is an excerpt of the ultimate hero of the story David Zinc, who sticks by Wally, who is has briefly seaped back into the depths of his depresssion and then a heavy alcohol binge before David gets him back into rehab. pg. 302 (paperback)"When he (David) turned onto Preston, he noticed the lights were on at Finley & Figg. It was 5:45am, and Wally hard at work. Good, thought David, maybe the junior partner had discovered some new theory they could spring on Nadine Karros and Harry Seawright and reduce some of the humilitation. But Wally's car was not parked behind. The rear door was unlocked, as was the front. Ac(the firm dog)was prowling around the first floor, agitated. Wally was not in his office; he was not to be found. David locked the doors and went to his office upstairs, followed by AC. There were no messages on his desk, no e-mails. He called Wally's cell and got voicemail. Strange, but then Wally's routine often varied. However, neither he nor Oscar had ever left the office unlocked and lights on. David tried to review some materials but could'nt concentrate. His nerves were edgy because of the trial, and now there was a nagging sense that something else was wrong. He walked downstairs and had a quick look around Wally's office. The wastebasket next to his credenza was empty. David hated to do it, but he pulled open a few drawers and found nothing of interest. In the kitchen, next to narrow fridge, there was a tall round wastebasket where the coffee grounds were dumped along with food containers and empty bottles and cans. David removed the white plastic liner, opened it wide, and found what he was afraid that he might find. To one side, lying on top of a yogurt container, was an empty pint of smirnoff vodka. David removed it, rinsed it in the sink while he washed his hands, and took it upstairs, where he sat it on his desk and stared at it for a long time. Wally had a few beers during lunch, then spent part of the night at the office, drinking vodka, and at some point decided to leave. Evidently he was drunk, because he left the lights on and the doors unlocked. They had agreed to meet at 7:00am for coffee and a work session. By 7:15, David was worried. He called Rochelle and asked if she had heard from Wally. "No, is something wrong?" she asked, as if a bad phone call about Wally was never unexpected.

"No just looking around for him, that's all. You'll be in at eight, right? I'm leaving the apartment now. I'll run by and check on Oscar then come to the office." David wanted to call Oscar but could not bring himself to do so. His triple bypass had been six days earlier. and David was not about to upset him. He paced the floor, fed AC, and tried Wally's cell phone again. Nothing. Rochelle arrived promptly at eight with the news that Oscar was doing okay and had not seen Wally. "He did'nt come home last night", she said. David pulled out the empty pint bottle out of his back pants pocket and said, " I found this in the kitchen wastebasket. Wally got drunk last night, here, and left the doors unlocked and the lights on when he left." Rochelle stared at the bottle and wanted to cry. She had nursed Wally through his previous battles and she had cheered him on through his rehabs. She had held his hands and prayed for him, cried for him, and celebrated with him sa he joyfully counted the days of sobriety. One year, two weeks and two days, and now they are looking at an empty bottle. " I guess the pressure got to him", David said. "When he falls, he falls hard David, and each one is worst then the last." David set the bottle on the table, "But he was so proud of being sover", he said. " I can't believe this." What he really could'nt believe was that the dream team (or the three stooges) was down to its last man standing. And though his partners were woefully lacking in trial experience, they were seasoned veterans compared with him. "You think he'll show up in court?' David asked. no, she did not, but Rochelle did'nt have the heart to be blunt. "Probably so. You need to get on the road." To Continue!

Be Bright Love Yourself! Healing a Day at a Time

Be Bright Love Yourself! Healing a Day at a Time

This is a Great Video Excellent Alternate to AA! Keep Trying!

The Spiritual Journey of Addiction Recovery

SACRED PATHS The Spiritual Journey of Addiction Recovery The journey of addiction and recovery is a spiritual journey and cycle in which we descend into a hell of our making through substance abuse or compulsive behavior and crawl up into a new way of life by asking for others to help us experience and reclaim the elemental goodness and sacredness we are born with and into. The terrible beauty of addiction recovery is that our most painful wound – our “bottom” of substance abuse - can be the most powerful transformational experience of our lives. The spiral of generativity cannot be entered into without the death of the old ways. This spiritual journey of addiction recovery plays out as two opposing spirals on the circle of life. The descent into addictive, self-destructive actions and the climb up and into generative self-care is a timeworn path with familiar landmarks. See the journey chart on this page. We Begin We begin our life journey born, however briefly, into the elemental idea of good or the sacred. All of creation on Earth and our cosmos has sprung from the great mystery that is life. We are born into and from this amazing flow of uncontrollable energy. It is we; it is the air we breathe and the water we drink. We arise from the sacred, are born into a sacred self, and connected to the sacred by merely being alive. At the same time, we also are born into the human family, which inevitably exposes us to myriad experiences, many amazing, many terrifying. The Descent For those prone to addiction, whether through genetics or environment, encounters with woundedness and trauma can lead to the development of substance abuse or compulsive behavior as a coping tool For the addict and alcoholic, the equation of “one is too many, a thousand not enough” is part of the downward spiral. The “more” of relentless repetition of substance use or compulsive behavior is an intensely powerful ritual that can last decades. Preoccupation with substances or behaviors become ritualistic, where addiction becomes worship and the substance the most important connection. The pain of disconnection from authentic self, desire and the sacred perpetuates the use or behavior cycle. The physical, emotional and spiritual hallmarks of the downward spiral are loss, secrets, shame, isolation, drama, lies, negative thinking, denial and physical abuse and suffering. The Bottom Life is unmanageable. The drive to obtain substances or to increase the behavior is unrelenting. Any price is paid for comfort, ease and numbness. Life crashes. Arrests occur. Cars crash. Homes are lost. Love is lost. Body systems shut down. The Ascent Somehow, hope arises. It is often called grace. It is the gift of the pain of powerlessness and despair. Hope brings awareness that we cannot recover alone. There is acceptance that others share the journey as allies, resources and healers in the service of the sacred. The journeyer is exposed to spiritual principles, healing communities and recovery practices and behaviors to supplant the old ways. The light of truth shines into the dark crevasses of the soul. Spiritual principles such as honesty, acceptance, humility, surrender, courage, willingness, gratitude, forgiveness, patience, tolerance, service to others, and love become the fertile ground of recovery. Spiritual actions in recovery include:

The Courage to Change Soberrecovery.com

Motivation for Quitting December 7th, 2012 Why would anyone ever quit drinking, drugging, eating, gambling or smoking? The answer seems simple, but is not as easy to find as one would suppose. Quitting is often the end result of a long-term, escalating problem that is posed by the use and then addiction to any of these behaviors or substances. How does one determine when quitting is a good idea? That is where the tough answers begin. Alcohol, drug, food, gambling and smoking are behaviors that exist in our social environment in varying degrees of acceptability and easy access. We all know people who do these things with impunity and no seeming consequences for the behavior. Perhaps they are socially acceptable in the circles they frequent or are done without overstepping the boundaries of what is deemed “normal” by their peers, family and friends. When, for others, does it stop being socially-acceptable? Depending on the social environment that exists for any of us, there are varying degrees of what is considered “normal.” Once again, we must define, for each person, the standards that make these behaviors okay or not okay to participate in. If it has become a problem in a person’s life, it may be the intervention of those people surrounding them that make it clear that it is no longer acceptable behavior. This may or may not be the motivation that a person needs to make the necessary changes in their habits of participating in the behavior. However, most addicts will not take this initial assessment to heart. They will stop the behavior when in the company of this group of persons, leave the group, or seek new companions and social environments that are more conducive to embracing the behaviors, or all of these. Such measures are common under these circumstances. This individual may continue to spiral into deeper association with persons and habitual use of substances or behaviors, until such time as they eschew all social interactions to avoid anyone’s knowledge of what and how much they are doing. Again, this is not unusual. What, then, can motivate them to see the patterns and become motivated to stop? A combination of factors will need to be present for them to become entirely ready to address the problem. It is most often an intrinsic, or inner drive to stop the disagreeable consequences that have begun to surface surrounding their actions. This may be a good time for worried friends, family members and co-workers to talk to them about their concerns with the choices being made. If the addict is willing to hear this information, they may be approachable to finding solutions as well. This is a good opening, but the rest of the motivation will have to come from within the addict themselves. While it may be possible for them to initially desire to keep a relationship with a beloved family member, a job, or to stop having legal consequences occur, there needs to be a determination by the addict that they are doing it for themselves. While all of these other situations may cause pain and hurt the addict, they will then become discouraged and decide that they have no willingness to quit. Until they are determined to stop because they care enough about themselves, it will not happen. All other motivating factors can, and will, change in time, anyway. They must care enough to make the radical changes that recovery will demand. Kelly McClanahan has an MSW in clinical social work, with a specialization in substance abuse treatment. Having worked in this field for over 20 years, she is currently working on her certification as an addictions’ counselor.

The Courage to Change November 2nd, 2012 This word regularly creates the same response in recovery settings: “Ugh! I hate change!” This is an interesting comment, since all around us, the universe spins faster than we can perceive, with change being the only thing going on at all times, without end. It sounds like work to recovering addicts. After all, isn’t their life now upside down, in seeming chaos, because of a change they made, from active addiction to recovery? And that does not look so great in the beginning. There is a lot of wreckage to clean up and a lot of work that they see necessary to maintain their abstinence. And now, talk of change as well? Visions of many things may come to mind when this word is introduced: That they must somehow become “good” instead of such bad, bad people. This is a change they do not begin to know how to make. Thankfully, it is not a necessary change. Mostly, they want to change the way they are seen by those who have despaired most during their addiction. This is the family and friends who watched them go from beloved son, daughter, wife, husband, mother, father, sister, brother, cousin, employee, friend and become an untrustworthy, manipulative, dishonest, selfish and inconsiderate addict. This change resonates with them. But how does one do this? What must change first? Old ideas are one thing to start with. It will take many years to rebuild broken relationships. The idea that it will happen quickly just because the substance abuse has stopped is not going to work. First of all, there may be a relapse in substance abuse. This will destroy the work if those in relationships believe it was only the substance that created the problem. Smash that idea immediately! Practicing becoming honest, trustworthy, respectful and emotionally available to these relationships takes a long time to learn, even longer to practice, and longer than that to trust for those who have been involved with anyone’s substance abuse. Learning to let go of doubt and anger and to believe in their loved one again takes as long as it takes. Dispel the notion that it will happen NOW or even Soon. It will happen slowly, over time, as they begin to see and believe that the changes you are making are real and viable. That you are becoming the person they could always see inside you that was being destroyed by the addiction. Other changes that will be necessary, over time are those more subtle that are part and parcel of the addict’s arsenal of survival skills such as blaming others, being the victim, being emotionally unavailable and taking without giving back. These are frequently behaviors that addicts adopt to keep others at arm’s length, especially if it threatens their addiction. Now that the addiction is gone, they need to uncover behaviors that supported their addiction and distanced others in relationships and change them. This is different with each person, and sponsors, mentors and therapists can help with these behavior modifications. Recovery is all about change. From beginning recovery to the many years that may be in store for an addict, it is the adventure of becoming the person they only dreamed of being. One change at a time, they blossom and thrive. It is, as is said in 12-step meetings “an inside job.” While not as difficult as feared, it is the reason for the second part of the Serenity Prayer, which asks for “the courage to change the things I can.” Kelly McClanahan has an MSW in clinical social work, with a specialization in substance abuse treatment. Having worked in this field for over 20 years, she is currently working on her certification as an addictions’ counselor.

On Active Drinking

'I'm lucky to be alive': American Pie star Chris Klein comes clean about his struggle with alcoholism By LAURA SCHREFFLER PUBLISHED: 21:01 EST, 28 March 2012 | UPDATED: 04:54 EST, 29 March 2012 Chris Klein has finally opened up about his well-documented battle with alcoholism. The 33-year-old American Pie said that he realises he's lucky to be alive. He told People magazine: 'I would have died, and I think about that every single day.' He added: 'It got to the point where I was a fragile shadow of the young man that came into this business. His battle with alcohol addiction nearly cost him his career. Though he started off promisingly opposite Reese Witherspoon in the 1999 film Election, he soon went on a downward spiral. This was mostly due to the meteoric rise in fame he experienced after starring in two American Pie films. He was arrested for drunk driving on February 5, 2005 and again on June 16, 2010 for the same reason. Five days after his second arrest, he checked himself into the Cirque Lodge rehab facility in Utah and began a 30-day addiction programme. His publicist explained at the time: 'After recent events, Chris was forced to take a clear look at a problem he has been trying to deal with himself for years. 'He understands now that he cannot beat this disease alone.' His bitter breakup with long-time girlfriend Katie Holmes also attributed to his unhappiness. Klein is now back on track, starring in the fourth American Pie instalment, American Reunion.

Meeting New Friends-Some Good Things!

One Positive thing that I can say about the Pub is that the potential to meet new people is great. Whether or not you Stay in touch and or whether or not the night ends on a positive note without a Crash, those times when you meet special people is always nice. At the same time, it is also important to be able to enjoy the moment and realize that while actively drinking it is just a moment. Learning to Love myself more in spite of myself and knowing that good times with a horrible hangover the next day must be rethought. I wish that I was one of those drinkers that could have a couple and keep it moving but I never was! I am looking into Milk Thistle which apparently has some benefits with respect to liver repair and heart disease. I will obviously in my journey consult with doctors and licensed homeopathic physicians on this matter, dentist, etc. I was able to garner some information from WebMD "Is Milk Thistle Good for the Liver? At this point, there is not enough scientific data to say whether or not milk thistle can help liver problems. Some early research suggests milk thistle may aid people with alcohol-related liver disease. Other studies show no improvement in liver function in this group of people. Milk thistle (silymarin) is a flowering herb related to the daisy and ragweed family. It is native to Mediterranean countries. Some people also call it Mary thistle and holy thistle.

Strength, Courage and Wisdom

Cowboys player killed: Jerry Brown dies in car accident — teammate Josh Trent charged

Cowboys player killed: Jerry Brown dies in car accident — teammate Josh Trent charged Published Saturday, Dec 8, 2012 at 3:27 pm EST

Dallas Cowboys defensive tackle Josh Brent has been arrested and charged with intoxication manslaughter in the death of teammate Jerry Brown, a practice squad linebacker, Irving police told the Dallas Morning News. At approximately 2:30 a.m. Saturday morning, Brent, with Brown as his passenger, was traveling westbound on East State Highway 114 at a high rate of speed when his car hit the outside curb and flipped over. Jerry Brown was a practice squad player for the Cowboys. He died in a car accident early Saturday morning, with teammate Josh Trent being charged with intoxication manslaughter. (AP Photo) Brent was talking to officers upon arrival, but Brown was unresponsive and later pronounced dead after being rushed to a nearby hospital. Brent failed a sobriety test, police said, and was booked into Irving City Jail with a second-degree felony charge, the newspaper reported. "We are deeply saddened by the news of this accident and the passing of Jerry Brown," Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said in a statement released by the team. "At this time, our hearts and prayers and deepest sympathies are with the members of Jerry's family and all of those who knew him and loved him." The team said in a statement that Brent was not on the team flight to Cincinnati, where the Cowboys play the Bengals on Sunday. Brent, who played football at the University of Illinois, was arrested in February 2009 near campus for driving under the influence, driving on a suspended license and speeding, according to Champaign County, Ill., court records. In June 2009, Brent pleaded guilty to DUI and was sentenced to 60 days in jail, two years of probation, 200 hours of community service and a fine of about $2,000. As part of his plea deal, prosecutors dropped one count of aggravated DUI/no valid driver's license. Brent successfully completed his probation in July 2011, court records show. Brent has played in all 12 games this season and has been a bigger presence on defense with starting nose guard Jay Ratliff battling injuries. He made his first career start the season opener against the New York Giants and has 35 tackles and 1½ sacks. The Cowboys signed Brown to their practice squad Oct. 24, but he hasn't been on the active roster. The news marks the second death in a week involving an NFL player. Last Saturday, Kansas City Chiefs LB Jovan Belcher murdered his girlfriend, then drove to Chiefs headquarters and committed suicide in the team’s parking lot.

Herbal Alternatives to Alcoholic Party Drinks

Thanks Kate Herbal Alternatives to Alcoholic Party Drinks The genius of Rooibos/Hibiscus tea, served room temperature in wine glasses at parties, is that as it looks just like red wine, it takes away all drinking ‘pressure’. Someone could drink only tea, or alternate between tea and wine, or drink as much wine as they feel comfortable drinking and then switch to tea. I first learned this trick from acclaimed herbalist Lata Kennedy, the long-time herbal goddess of Manhattan’s East Village who is the proprietor of Flower Power Herbs and Roots on East 9th St. She serves the tea alongside a good Bordeaux at her parties. Hibiscus and Rooibos are both antioxidant and full of vitamin C, which boosts the immune system and generates energy. Hibiscus is an excellent circulatory tonic. Drinking hibiscus makes me feel glad. It feels heart-opening. For white wine drinkers, Linden tea works similarly, as its a very pale yellow color, and tastes good chilled as well as warm. Linden is also a circulatory and heart tonic. Its deeply relaxing, and most of my friends and clients who drink it on a regular basis report that it makes them feel happy and carefree, like a kid. This has been my experience, too. Its a beloved beverage in Eastern Europe, Proust writes about it in Swan's Way, but is not cultivated in the U.S. I harvest my own from the huge trees in Prospect Park each summer. You can buy organic bulk Linden from Mountain Rose Herbs. My non-drinking friends tell me that sparkling cider with a generous helping of homemade elderberry syrup served in a fluted glass is one of the most exciting party drinks they have every imbibed. Like the hibiscus/roobios, when this is served at parties, people are generally animated due to the jolt of vitamin C. It is a good beverage for encouraging dancing.

Boundless Energies

BE BRIGHT!

Namaste

As defined by Mahatma Gandhi: In India when people meet and part they often say, Namaste' which means: "I honor the place within you where the entire Universe resides; I honor the place within you of love, of light, of truth, of peace; I honor the place within you, where, when you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us." "Good Morning Saturday MOrning Sober What a Great Feeling" -Lu'na

Herbs and Teas Alcohol Detox

Annie's Remedy Essential Oils and Herbs Herbs For Alcoholism Herbal Remedies The liver takes the brunt of the abuse dished out by long term alcohol abuse, and recovery and healing should begin with healing the liver. Milk thistle is one of the best known and respected herbs for protecting the liver. The silymarin contained in the milk thistle seeds acts to help the liver eliminate toxins, including alcohol. In traditional Chinese medicine, Reishi mushrooms have been used as a tonic to prevent "fatty-liver" and cirrhosis due to alcohol abuse. Kudzu has shown amazing promise in the fight against problem drinking. Research has shown kudzu can curb the urge to consume alcohol in some populations. Kudzu may be more effective if used in its natural state, such as in kudzu tea. It is possible that persons of East Asian ancestry have the greatest response to kudzu as a treatment for alcohol abuse.

Self-Realization

“Self-realization is the knowing — in body, mind, and soul — that we are one with the omnipresence of God...” — Paramahansa Yogananda Relapse is Not an Option Anymore! The Road Ahead is Too BRIGHT Thank you GOD!

WE ARE ONE! AA Preamble

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership; we are self supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination or politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any contreversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and to help other alcoholics acheive sobriety. Missing You Sam-played keyboards for the group Maze. I met Sam while I was living in Oakland, California. He was my friend and we would frequent the same bar in downtown Oakland off 12th Street. Sam was extremely talented and at the same time he loved his Vodka. Things happened in Sam's life in which he lost his career with the group over the years maybe that depressed him. He was a sweet soul and I had compassion of wisdom knowing his struggle. Through this Blog I learned of his death as it has been many years since I last saw him. Maybe he got Sober, I don't know. Anyway he was my friend. Luv Ya Sam

FREE!

Thank You Deneice!

Let Our Spirits Fly! Just for Today I will learn to live simply not try to do too much to slow down and listen to my inner self. Just for Today, I will pay attention to the pain in my side and know that my body is asking me not to drink, telling me not to drink. Just for Today, I will reflect on a brighter future and use my past as a learning tool and building block. Just for Today, I will continue to Pray and Pray and ask God to help me right my wrongs and faults to heal my body that I have so badly damaged from making bad choices from consuming too much booze. Just for Today I will ask God for forgiveness and to help me cross this path into good health, Mind, Body Soul. Just for Today I will learn to love myself to a higher height and know that if I take care of myself I will in turn be able to take care of others. Just for Today I dare not to drink, I will not be tempted. Just for Today I will reflect on the fact that if I drink today, I may not have tomorrow. JUST FOR TODAY! -Lu'na I Pray for Han Ki Suk

and his family....a tragic loss....allegedly he was pushed to his death this past monday on the subway tracks at 49th and 7th avenue and was hit by an oncoming Q train. Authorities state that up to 2 hours prior to the incident he had an argument with his wife. It was also reported that Mr. Suk had been drinking when he engaged in a heated verbal dispute with the man that pushed him onto the subway tracks and that when he was retrieved they found a bottle of liquor on him. There was a doctor on the scene in the station at 49th street who attended to him but she could not save his life! May he rest in Peace!

Wendy Speaks on Her Sobriety Thank You

Remembering Whitney- This is so Powerful...I linked on it on youtube when I linked to the subject of addiction and relapse. I saw her show at the time that Whitney passed and she spoke of her addiction and her past but nothing like how she breaks it down in this video....Wonderful Stuff!

Miraculous Metal "Prayer"

In all my times happiness, distress, lonliness, drunkeness, whateverness....my grandmother gave me the gift of the Holy Rosary and Prayer Beads. Thank you Grandma....