TALKING OUT LOUD TO MYSELF GOTTA GET THIS

It has been a while since my last POST. This is often the case with the struggles of active drinking and full blown alcoholism. It’s amazing to think of oneself as a professional but yet still abuse alcohol in the extreme. Depression kicks in one loses’s focus, misses deadlines, deals with unnecessary drama, is it really worth it. With each episode, with all day stints in bed after a heavy binge, I say HECK NO it is NOT worth it. The ironic thing is that in spite of ourselves, talent, brilliance intellectual insight, our sense of mind is gone the moment that we hit the bottle, we are completely outside of ourselves. I’ve been quite lucky and though I have been able to achieve a certain degree of success anything that I do goes right down the drain with booze; that loving relationship that I desire, that new house that I desire, the financial stability that I can have and desire and seek to build but have spent boatloads on booze and partying. (An alcoholic with a lot of funds and resources is dangerous to themselves and to others, REALLY, I know some real bad stories of gamblers as well but at least they don't pass out and do crazy stuff, or cause fights.) Although so many alcoholics are brilliant that they can hustle their way back on their feet, only to crash again and the vicious spend and drink cycle continues, Really Really problematic. I had a birthday recently and as I am hitting my mid-forties it’s time to REALLY WAKE UP. My binges always end in disaster, drama and or some other unpleasant mishap, followed by days of depression until I sober up. My episodes have gotten worse and my body is pretty banged up. I have banged my head against the wall enough and guess what the wall is winning so if I want to stop the bleeding, I HAVE TO STOP DRINKING AND COMMIT TO A SOBER LIFESTYLE. This fact is so crucial at this juncture in my life that anything else is lethally dangerous. I have had a ton of fun and NOW when I drink much of what I feel is remorse and misery and it’s time to release it. I have too much at stake. Pray that I/and soon we continue to BLOG on a regular basis. These last few days I have been motivated by PARAMAHANSA YOGANANDA SCIENTIFIC HEALING AFFIRMATIONS Given to my by a DEAR Friend. Thanks, Sally. My friends and fellow folks that have a challenge with alcohol WE HAVE THE POWER TO HEAL. Thanks, Sincerely Lu'na